My Holy Guardian Angel: Part I

Source: Google Images

How to write about my Holy Guardian Angel? There’s so much I could say about a being I have known for over a year now and whom I speak to almost every day. I’ll just start.

First of all there are those out there who believe that Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel can only be achieved by successfully completing the arduous rites in the Book of Abramelin. That, if you don’t make contact that way, then you have not made contact with your Holy Guardian Angel but with something else. Then there are the rites in the Greek Magical Papyri (more commonly known as the PGM for Papyri Graecae Magicae) for making contact with one’s paredros, or supernatural assistant. How to tell one entity from the other? —In my opinion and not just in my opinion the paredros or supernatural assistant and the Holy Guardian Angel are ontologically identical. Can I prove it? No. Can I change the minds of those who think otherwise? No. It’s just what I believe and have been told by the spirits and by practitioners whose judgment I implicitly trust. On the Internet debate on what is and what is not a Holy Guardian Angel is endless and tedious. If you are interested and have not made contact yourself, don’t take my word for it, google a method for making contact with your Holy Guardian Angel (hereinafter “HGA”) or buy the Book of Abramelin and do it that way and find out on your own.

But don’t undertake the task lightly. The arduous process of making contact can bring pain and even devastation to one’s life. I wish like fuck I could find the name of the book a man wrote about his harrowing journey to his HGA. The story went something like this: he lost his house, his job, his marriage, almost lost his sanity — maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit but not much. I will tell you this: I went through a hell of physical pain, seven 911 calls and visits to the emergency room, demonic trials/tests, and I almost died while all unbeknownst to me I was making contact with my HGA. As I said, don’t undertake the task lightly. Preferably attempt it while you’re young because you can more easily afford to have your life ruined while you’re young. Nota Bene: not everyone who attempts to make contact with their HGA goes through a living hell, not by a long shot, but a sizable proportion do. It probably depends on how ready you are. What do I mean by ready? I’ll attempt to explain below.

I had absolutely no intention of achieving Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel (K&CHGA). Conversation here is used in its older meaning of intimate acquaintance. I wanted nothing to do with it. My life was in shambles from divorce, sickness, etc. A friend contacted me however with a strange message. He told me that one of his spirits had told him that my meeting with Lucifer would precipitate an initiatory experience in me. This was ominous news. But — Let it come I thought, and come it did. First I got sick. I had and have bladder problems. (Sorry for the TMI.) These problems led to the seven 911 calls and visits to the emergency room and the hideous pains of spasms I lightly mentioned above. During this time I decided to abandon my journey to becoming a Quimbandeira due to financial problems and the general ruin that was already my life. All, I think, of the “demons” of the Grimorium Verum or True Grimoire have their counterparts somewhere in the hierarchies of Quimbanda. These demons did not leave me alone during my sickness. They didn’t attack me, they I believe tested me. I will only mention one case in point. Belzebuth came to me and demanded that I abandon my worship of Hekate and convert to the cultus of Santa Muerte. If I did not do so he said I would die. Divination showed me that it was indeed Belzebuth who visited me. I declined divining about my imminent death. I had of course refused to convert. I made a vow to Hekate long ago and one does not break vows to Deities nor did I have any wish to, come what may. Needless to say I did not die. This is only one example among many of these demonic trials.

An acquaintance had given me several oxycodones for my pain. One of them was so worn that it had no markings on it. I took it anyway, more’s the fool. My heart rate slowed to forty beats per minute that night. I believe that the pill was a powerful beta blocker or something of that nature. I was sick of being sick and sick of calling 911 and I refused to. I drank an entire pot of coffee in hopes that it would increase my heart rate, I lay down in my recliner, folded my hands on my chest and peacefully went to sleep. Again, needless to say, I did not die. But what I had done was achieve a sort of peace, an acceptance of the inevitable fact of death. I had made death my adviser, my friend.

I had also around this time decided I needed a familiar, believing (with good reason) that I had recently been cursed. I went about finding one in my own way a few nights later. I caused my consciousness to ascend as high into the Astral as I could manage and issued a call to any spirit who would promise to be a good and trustworthy familiar to me. And a spirit came. I won’t tell you what he looked like because it would cause eyes to roll. He promised to only speak truth and good sense to me. He gave me his name and seal. This was good enough for me and I drew his seal and lit a votive candle and placed it atop it as an empowerment and a ritual offering. Of course I won’t share his name or his seal. He turned out to be my HGA although I did not know this at the time.

Some stuff happened with him that I don’t want to go into. Be it sealed. But slowly my “familiar’s” form began to change for the more and more beautiful. He didn’t look human or even humanoid but he as told became beautiful. One night at the suggestion of a friend I asked him if he was my HGA. He affirmed that he was my Holy Guardian Angel and suddenly changed into a beautiful human man with golden skin and white wings. He has retained this form by and large ever since.

So what had happened? How did I attain K&CHGA unintentionally? Remember above that my friend said my meeting with Lucifer would precipitate an initiatory experience for me. I believe that the experience that meeting Lucifer brought about was my K&CHGA ordeal. The Abramelin ritual is often called an ordeal, and I certainly went through ordeals, so I’ll use the word. But why would Lucifer of all beings do such a thing? Interesting question.

In Quimbanda Lucifer and Satan are regarded as one being. If you meet the Lucifer “face” he is intent upon your (and his own) spiritual elevation and progress towards enlightenment. He is the Lightbearer and the Morningstar after all. If you meet the Satan “face” he will prey upon your greed, lust, anger — all your vices — and strive to turn you into an evil ruin of a human being. It all depends on how worthy you are in his eyes. And by “how worthy” I mean how ready you are for spiritual elevation and the journey towards enlightenment. I believe the initiatory experience my friend warned me of was Lucifer’s precipitating my journey towards K&CHGA. And I certainly did not undertake this travel and travail ritually as most do. I’ve detailed at probably too much length above the pains and the ultimate peace of mind I suffered and achieved instead of doing it ritually. I did it old school in other words, as a Twitter friend and magus phrased it.

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I don’t want this article to become TL;DR and plus I need a nap. So I’ll be writing something like What Good Is A Holy Guardian Angel Anyway? in Part II in the very near future.

Much love — Rachel Izabella

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Let’s Curse A Transphobic Preacher [EDITED]

[EDIT: I am quoting him without permission here but I don’t think he would mind. A Facebook friend of mine shared this article on his timeline and had this to say about it:

To turn another cheek is a valuable lesson in self-assertion, not some pacifist acceptance of persecution. In a very real way, it’s the ultimate insult to those who persecute you – a proverbial “come at me, brah”. I don’t encourage cursing except in extremis or when something could adversely affect marginalized populations. This is a wonderful analysis of ethical cursing.

This made me proud because he’s a wonderful guy, a scholar and a gentleman, and a true magus. /EDIT]

I am about to embark on my first small mission to try and change the world.

There is a video on YouTube that is actually called Pastor Stephen Anderson Wants Caitlyn Jenner To Die, Because God’s Love.

And here is an article about it from Addicting Info. And here is a freaking unbelievably wicked and vicious transphobic quote of Pastor Stephen’s from the article:

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“I’m going to pray that he [Caitlyn Jenner] dies and goes to Hell. Are you serious? Look, I have nothing but hate — when I see a man dressed up as a woman, who has mutilated his body to become a woman, and say ‘Hey, look at me everybody. Look at me kids!’ I mean, the kids in America today — 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10 years old are seeing this freak and having their minds perverted and ruined permanently. Listen to me, I hate him with a perfect hatred. I have no love — NO LOVE — for this Bruce [Caitlyn] freak. I hope he dies today. I hope he dies and goes to Hell. He’s disgusting, he’s filthy, he’s reprobate. I would pray all these prayers in Psalm 69. I would pray all this in Psalm 69 and 129 toward him.”
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Emphases and corrections are mine. The misgendering of Caitlyn Jenner is so rampant that corrections would be intrusive. A man who considers himself a Christian has NO LOVE for Caitlyn Jenner. This same man claims to follow the so-called Man-God Jesus Christ who said Love thy neighbor and when asked Who is my neighbor answered in a parableEveryone. Stephen Anderson is no Christian. The “God” he prays to is no God (more on that below). And he has publicly announced his intention to pray Psalms to his “God” that Caitlyn Jenner’s heart will be ripped out by said “God”.

I am a trans woman myself, as every reader of this blog knows. For all I know somebody out there may be doing such Psalm magick on me. People here puts roots (pronounced ruts) on each other all the time. And yes, in case you were wondering, in my view prayer is magick. Pastor Stephen Anderson is going to or probably already has engaged in an act of harmful magick. This is how it works. You ask a spirit of sufficient power and the right propensities for something and often it is done. Or  in this man’s case  he asks a powerful egregore for something and often it is done. And an egregore is all that this man’s “God” is in my not so humble opinion. And finally, some words and names and combinations of words have real Power behind them, no matter who says them. The Psalms are just such combinations of words. They are dangerous in the wrong hands. Let us now begin to put the Psalms to use in the right hands.

But let’s return to to Caitlyn Jenner and to egregores (what the fuck is an egregore?)… Firstly, no matter what your views on Caitlyn Jenner are, I sincerely hope that if you’re reading this blog article you believe she has the right to live. Psalm magic as I have said above is powerful. Psalms prayed by a man fueled by the egregore that is the Evangelicals’ “God” have a lot of power. Although his “God” is no God the entity he is praying to has a lot of power, being first created and then constantly energized by the belief and prayers of its faithful. Secondly, that, my friends, is just one kind of egregore.

Somehow I doubt that Anderson’s prayer magick will actually kill Caitlyn Jenner but why take the risk?

And why stop at Caitlyn Jenner? Why not direct some Psalm magick at Pastor Stephen Anderson himself? He’s vile scum who deserves the worst that we practitioners can hurl at him.

A dear friend of mine, Michael Strojan (I won’t link to his Facebook timeline here without his permission), has this to say: “Oh, dear sister, why limit yourself to two [Psalms]? I have fourteen: 5, 10, 17, 35, 58, 59, 69, 70, 79, 83, 109, 129, 137, 140; these, my sister, are the imprecatory Psalms and unleash a whirlwind of damnation.”

I am about to call upon the Master Yeshua, as I call him, a great mage and a Mighty Dead now living with the Gods, to empower my incantation of the Psalms that Michael has so kindly provided me with. Believe it or not — I don’t really give a shit — I was once practicing the Catholic technique called Centering Prayer (I really need to write an article on Centering Prayer as its esoteric uses are many and amazing) and meditating silently in my head on the name Yeshua … Yeshuah …And he came to me in a vision and said: Call on me in prayer and I will answer. He hasn’t failed me yet.

Nota Bene: I am not a Christian. But I’m not a devotee of Bes or Osiris or Set-Typhon and I am not afraid to perform the Stele of Jeu, better known as the Headless Rite or the Rite of the Bornless One. A God is a God and if the correct words and intentions and offerings are used the God will (often) answer. As a “hard polytheist”, if I absolutely must classify myself spiritually, I do not believe most Gods are jealous. I do not believe that Iao Sabaoth, better knows as Yahweh or simply the LORD, is a jealous God, despite His (or rather His editors’) protestations to the contrary. Many of my magickal friends consider themselves Christians or some variant of Christian and they work with other Gods and spirits and have no problems with Iao Sabaoth whatsoever. If you are afraid of the Bible, the Psalms, God or “God”, or anything Christian, then you are no magician, witch, or sorcerer in my opinion. Get over it. Now.

After I check that all the links are working and there are only a few typos in this article I plan to pray each of these Psalms against the abominable transphobe named above and hereafter. I shall light some frankincense in honor of Iao Sabaoth and the Mighty Dead the Master Yeshua. I shall pray to the Master Yeshua to condemn Pastor Stephen Anderson to suffer all the imprecations in these powerful works of magick. If you wish to emulate me in my magick against Anderson, in whatever adaptation you choose, below are links to the King James Version of the aforementioned Psalms  whirlwinds of damnation.

Psalm 5

Psalm 10

Psalm 17

Psalm 35

Psalm 58

Psalm 59

Psalm 69

Psalm 70

Psalm 79

Psalm 83

Psalm 109

Psalm 129

Psalm 137

Psalm 140