About Rachel Izabella

Parent, writer, sorceress, geomancer (geomantrix?), book lover, amateur linguist, amateur astronomer, Hekatean and DIY Hellenic Polytheist, animist, tree-hugger. Also trans. Also queer. 

~~~~~~~~~

My identity as a woman is not a choice for me. The alternative would have been spending the remainder of my life deeply depressed, as I spent my whole life depressed before I came out to myself as trans. I am not ashamed. I regret nothing.

I practice sorcery. I’m a comparative newbie at it, I didn’t start when I was 12 or 13 as most practitioners seem to have done. But I have spoken with Archangels, demons, and Gods. When I do a shoal of sigils, I get results, usually very fast results. When I practice divination, I know it’s going to rain tomorrow, or that so-and-so will win the next election. I need to work on my financial sorcery, though — it’s never been a priority till now. SRS, sex reassignment surgery, is very expensive.

I call myself a sorceress, adding the so-called diminutive “-ess” with pride. I am not a magician nor a witch.What other word is available? The word sorcery has sinister connotations for some. Myself, I don’t think so.

Transition — and if you don’t know, that’s the process and the all hard work of switching gender rolls — is currently distracting me from my practice somewhat. But it’s getting easier now that I am consistently passing as a woman. I hate the word passing, by the way. It makes it sound as if a trans woman weren’t a real woman. But no other word will do. Trans folk are different, however, and consequently we’re frequently despised by the ignorant, the stupid (though I’ve encountered little of that myself). “Haters gonna hate.” Passing just makes life easier.

Back to “why sorceress?” —Witchcraft I believe is a specific calling, and it’s not mine. Traditional Witchcraft and Wicca have magical and spiritual emphases that I’ll have nothing of. There are types of magic that most witches won’t do, just because they’re witches. I won’t be bound so. Witchcraft tends to focus on the Lunar current — the Night, the Moon, ecstatic rites, types of spirituality that I don’t share, wilderness settings — neglecting the Solar. (One might, almost accurately, think of the Lunar Current as Dionysian and the Solar Current as Apollonian.) Again, I won’t be so bound.

Unlike most Wiccans and New Agers I don’t believe in karma. You think thoughts and do deeds, and these have their effects on you. That’s not what Westerners means when they say karma though. The Western idea of karma is, pardon the language, bullshit. I don’t look down on Wicca or the New Age, though. Who am I to criticize?

Strangely, most magicians, almost all self-styled magicians, are men. Maybe it’s because being a magician is such a nerdy affair, memorizing tables of attributes, correspondences, names of the angels of the days of the week, constantly, constantly word-burning their tables of practice and creating roomfuls of tools and doodads. There are, however, a lot of women Chaos Magicians, but then Chaos Magicians don’t do the things I just described, or am about to. Magicians neglect the Lunar current almost completely, favoring all things Solar. Aleister Crowley often called it the Solar-Phallic current. Magicians usually do things by the book. Many are almost completely Apollonian in their practice. Many disesteem achieving practical results at all, making magic their religion and spirituality, striving to achieve union with God, whatever that may mean. I suppose such magicians were born rich, or they have high paying day jobs.

None of that applies to Chaos Magicians. Chaos Magicians are cool. They tend to be atheists, though, and I’m no atheist. They tend to be skeptical, even of their own experiences, which I think is dumb. They’re not skeptical of their skepticism though. Hypocrites.

So I’m a sorceress. All the division and compartmentalization I’ve described above depresses me. The descriptions above are stereotypes, by the way. Many witches and magicians do not fall prey to these stereotypes. Many do.

I’m a polytheist. I prefer Gods who actually answer prayers. I do not believe in any ultimate or One True God. The closest thing is the Azoth, the subtle substance of which all things are composed, no matter how complex, and which you’ve probably never heard of (look it up, read a book or something). The Azoth may even be sentient and benevolent, but it doesn’t do anything, it doesn’t answer prayers, it isn’t “God”. —I’m also an animist. I believe all things are to some extent alive.

I believe these things because of my lived experiences. Believe or disbelieve what you wish. Atheism and Scientism — they’re religions, and damned sorry religions at that. Reason and Common Sense — they’re what somebody told you to believe, and you fell for it, you have faith in it.

I walk by knowledge, not by faith.

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21 thoughts on “About Rachel Izabella

  1. De la trance says:

    Insightful biography which I really enjoyed reading. “Sorceress” I particularity liked your definition of that. A feel the same on your manner of definitions and terms in general. It’s such a sad and tragic fact that everything in this “modern” society of ours has to have a label imprinted on it.

    • Rachel Izabella says:

      We are beset with labels and nomenclature here in the age of Post-Post Modernism. But how to escape the traps of overly narrow labels that pin us like dead butterflies in a display case? I myself do not know.

  2. Cassie says:

    I have created a new YOU-NIQUE award which I have nominated you for because I think you are special! Further details here. http://justcassie.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/you-nique-award/

    • Rachel Izabella says:

      Thank you! I’m flattered (and wondering about “Blau Stern Schwarz Schlonge”, but that’s ok). So I should ask you a question, pass the award on, and let the new recipient ask me a question? Do I have the general idea (I’ve never won an award before)? I need to read more of your blog before I ask you a question, as I only discovered you today. Fun!

      • Cassie says:

        You have the general idea exactly right! Blau Stern is a very knowledgeable dark pagan magician, worth checking out! 😉

        • Rachel Izabella says:

          I just found his blog and read a few entries.. He’s from the Appalachian mountains too! I’ll be reading his blog for quite a while it looks like.

  3. Rose says:

    Fascinatingly unique description! I very much enjoy your thoughts and definitions regarding “witch”, “magician”, “sorceress”. I have a second blog in which you may be interested which chronicles my work since 2008. I have worked mostly within the Chaos currents, but do not care much for labels. I work with both the Solar rays and Lunar tides, as well as with Archangels, Guardians, Guides, and Ancestors. Dreams, intuition, and divination being additional tools. My original blog, which I still maintain but not as frequently as I used to, may be found linked below. It’s a pleasure meeting you, Rachel.

    • Rachel Izabella says:

      Thanks, Rose! I’ve been periodically catching up on your blogspot blog for a long time. I’m so glad you like my musings. It’s a pleasure to meet you too at long last.

  4. Mabna El Magmad says:

    Thanks for sharing Rachel,
    I have for many years trying to touch ‘spirit’. I have been fortunate to have known a few people who like yourself ‘spirit’ comes so easily. Voudon, Umbanda, Quimbanda and the possession religions offer a way in I believe. Also I have been involved with many Enochian scrying sessions which also proved enlightening. I believe my daughter Madimi came through these sessions.

    • Rachel Izabella says:

      Thank you for your comment, Mabna! Different people, different talents — that’s all it is. I myself happen to be going through a fallow period right now when it comes to spirit. Visit and comment often!

      Much love. —Rachel Izabella

  5. I agree with almost all you’ve said here…

    The Greek word that gets translated as “sorcerer” is goës, and as that essentially means “mourner” and may be derived from the mourning which Demeter did for Persephone and Demophoön, it is just as much a woman’s art as a man’s, or any other gender’s. 😉

    • Rachel Izabella says:

      Thank you so much! I’m wondering about that “almost” though — where did I (probably) go wrong?… My About page is due for some revision I believe.

      Love — Rachel

      • It isn’t a matter of any of it being “wrong”; some of the things you stated above are personal matters, and are therefore yours alone, so my own personal stances on them are slightly different, being that I am a different person! 😉 I probably should have worded that better, thus…

        But, on the factuality of everything, I don’t have any disagreements; I share probably 99% of your opinions expressed above. I’m also a polytheist, and I have an increasing distaste for atheism, particularly in its pagan forms that are nonetheless insistent on being included in everything despite often loud and rude disrespect to our gods and to us.

        • Rachel Izabella says:

          Lupus — I take your comment as a huge compliment. Your erudition and good sense and your expression thereof as demonstrated by your blog all amaze me.

          As for “pagan atheists”, I steered clear of all that. Others were saying what I might have said already, only much better than I could have said it. But, once again, I totally agree with you on the subject. I don’t much care for the more militant of the secular atheists either.

          Thanks for visiting and commenting. Much love. —Rachel Izabella

  6. Meri says:

    First, congratulations to you for making the decision to live life as you are, a woman.
    Your column on “Lilith: End of All Flesh, End of All Days” is excellent. We were reading it for my astrology class.
    From what I’ve seen of North Carolina, your’e living in beautiful country. And while life can have it’s challenges, I hope you wake every day filled with happiness at being able to live as you do. Good fortune and joy to you.

  7. John says:

    I personally believe that there is a balance to be had between The Apollonian & Dionysian in Magick, Philosophy, Existence (all things really): it’s called Life. Now as to they being apposed one to another, not really, for one will often make them mistake that Reason is always Logical & that Logic is Reasonable – & both are by all mean solid & right & always sound minded & void of emotional influences & drives & that there is no Sense to Emotion. Yet, there is such a thing as Emotional Intelligence. In any matter, it’s really an issue of Balance: there needs to be a balance between the two, between all things. As far a the idea & striving to “become one with God” … well that’s not difficult, it just really takes you to wake-up to the fact that you already are one with God. We are all God, God is all things, beyond our logical conceptions or modes of thought, yet, not outside of our grasp. God is not both quantifiable nor unquantifiable, God is that which is between. I know, “very Buddhist”, but there is some truth it. What “is” isn’t “either, or”, it isn’t “all or nothing” or “black or white” it’s middle … yet, middle isn’t the compromise of things. Take The fact that I too am Transgendered: Now I could say that I am a Woman, but I can not say that I am Female (at least not Genetically) & not matter of Surgical & Chemical Alteration will make me Female without completely revamping my Genetics … & I’m OK with this; I except this. Transgender is not, in itself, outside of the Binary, but an expression of the unities of The Binary within an individual & by this, it can be that which breaks the Binary divide, by embracing the existence of two seemingly apposing forces. It is not a compromise, it is, in fact, a middle ground: at least for me. But, it’s much like Apollonian & Dionysian, Why must there be a divide? How do we solve this divide? We embrace the two apposing forces with the willingness to “know” them each in their fullness without any bias or preference between the two, & the willingness to let go of both when the time comes … & then see what happens.

    But that’s just my take. Are there Many God’s? I believe so. Look at the term God. Do I believe that their is One All Powerful God: the Alpha? I also believe so. What is the Gender of this Alpha? Does it Matter? Mother? Father? How about Both – How about Neither: How about it’s something which is experienced beyond “what’s” & more of “who”? I am a person, a consumer, a digester, a (whatever you may add), yet these are “what” I am, yet are they “who” I am? Not really, not anymore than I allow them to be, not anymore than I identify myself with. “Who” is entirely another matter & can be separate & undetermined by action & “what”. And, that my friends is the wonder & mystery & age old question “who am I? Who is God? Does God even Exist? Do I really Exist?”. Ehyeh asher ehyeh: “I Will Be What I Will Be”, Exodus 3:14.
    “Thou Art God” My dear friends: All that Conceives (even conception beyond conception: knowing beyond Meta, prior to meta: as meta is what we often call conception & knowing but Meta is the delusion of knowing; the abstraction of conception into abstraction) All that Conceives is God.

    • Rachel Izabella says:

      John – I very much appreciate your comment. It was dense but enjoyable to read. I particularly enjoyed your “Buddhist” conception of God and your idea that such a God does not preclude the existence of many Gods.

      Also it’s a joy to have a comrade transgender person read my little blog and comment. Thank you very much! Visit often, comment often. 🙂

      Much love – Rachel Izabella

  8. Hi Rachel! So delighted to come across your blog, which was kind of a weird happenstance thing. (I googled “Ganesh” and “transgressor” – bit of a long story – and this was one of the first links). I’m genderqueer, a Witch, sex coach and general delighter in Mystery 🙂

  9. Hi, Rachel…
    I am a kabbalistic student but as iam new and i don’t have any friend, i’ll like to be your frind
    please! So that we can share our ideas together, please don’t ignore me.
    Samuel Genison

  10. Zhoro Martinov says:

    All you say sounds familiar to me. I can’t help being empathic thereto. Yet I also regard myself as a sorcerer, and for me it has its sinister connotations. Such as me are quite alone in their paths. Some say the communication under adepthood is impossible. If you are interested read this writing of mine:

    http://thebaphometproject.blogspot.bg/2014/04/with-baphomet-on-left-hand-path.html

    It’s second part is here:
    http://thebaphometproject.blogspot.bg/2014/05/with-baphomet-on-left-hand-path-part-ii.html

    And its end is here:
    http://thebaphometproject.blogspot.bg/2014/06/with-baphomet-on-left-hand-path-part-iii.html

  11. Nicole says:

    Hello Rachel,

    I am pleased to have found your blog, it’s a joy to find such a concise resource. Your research and experience of Lilith have been of particular interest to me. So, thanks!

    Also, I’m sorry that cis people can be such arseholes at times. It’s quite easy to forget that gender is part performance, part essence, when your genetic sex and gender identity are aligned. Having said that – as a genetically XX femme, there are times when I don’t feel feminine enough, so I can sympathise at least.

    I wish you Love and Light

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