Search Term Shoot Back: 2013

Some of the funniest, the dumbest, and the creepiest search terms which led people to my blog in 2013. Yeah, I know I’m on hiatus and that it’s January 2, 2014, but these just scream out to be posted here and commented on.

“how old is rachel izabella transexual” — This one gets the blue ribbon for creepy. None of your damned business, creep!

“the twelfth planet from the god shekhena is to destroy the wicked and her coming” — #batshitcrazy winner

“girl penius” — There are a lot of variations on this search term, but … penius? Really? Is that the best you can do? I’m glad you’re looking for porn because the gene pool does not need you.

“what i need to prays bafomat” — You need the same stuff as when you praise a laundromat. Duh!

“underwear magic spell” — Ask the Mormons about this. I think they know all about it.

“i am lucifer out baphomet. but i don’t have my powers” — Baphomet sure is popular these days. But, Sir or Ma’am, are you taking your medications? Regardless, I’m certain the Voodoo Gnostic Workbook will put you right lickety split!

“so i think i’m just an an astral being stuck on the physical plane…” — I’m not going to make fun of this one. It just sounds so sad.

“its true that rick ross is a baphomet” — Baphomet, Baphomet, Baphomet… I had to look up who Rick Ross is and then listen to him on YouTube. His music sucks. Baphomet could do it better. Ergo, Rick Ross is no Baphomet. And WTF is “a baphomet” supposed to mean anyway?

“satan’s vampire” — Aww. You’re so sweet. *blushing*

I have to stop, the nonsensical weirdness is just too much. Thanks are due to Polyphanes, whose phrase “Search Term Shoot Back” I totally stole. This has been an exercise in opprobrium. If I made anybody laugh, I’m glad. If I made anybody angry, too bad.

Happy New Year! And much love to you all, or at least the vast majority of you.