Melancholia I, Albrecht Dürer
A few of my friends read my post about losing my cat Wednesday and my depression and got worried about me. But —
As it turns out, I’m hardly depressed at all. I believe I may have a slight case of dysthymia (very low-grade depression, self-diagnosed), but that’s all. What I needed above all was some peace and quiet — a good dose of solitude. I’m very introverted, and I was getting way too much input under admittedly trying circumstances.
Rather paradoxically since I’ve moved and am living alone I’m being much more social. I have friendly neighbors, and I like to sit outside my apartment and talk to them. Add that extra people input to days of busy-ness searching for my cat, acclimating to my new environment and way of life, etc., etc., and it all added up to a major case of emotional, sensory, and people overload. I’ve increased my alone time considerably, and the overload has mostly vanished along with the very short term depression. I still feel unhappy at times, but that’s about it. A lot of the time I feel great.
In other words it seems not to be a case of depression. It was a bad case of what’s known as unhappiness. That’s all. I apologize to all those who were worried about me because I used the D-word (depression).
So — dysthymia, probably … depression, no.
And, yes, if you’re wondering, I’ve talked to my therapist about my possible dysthymia. We agreed that I may have a case of it and that it’s nothing to worry about.