Rant I: DOMA: Much Ado About Not So Much

Double Facepalm

I’ve been seriously stressed out all day. One stressor has been the hullabaloo over DOMA. Everyone seems to believe that gay marriage is now legal in all fifty states. It’s not. Proposition Two of DOMA was not struck down by the Supreme Court, leaving individual states free to legislate against gay and lesbian marriage. North Carolina, for example, has a constitutional amendment that outlaws homosexual marriage, and that amendment remains the law of the land. In NC and all the other states which have legislated against gay marriage someone must now challenge the law in a higher court, and perhaps take their case all the way to the Supreme Court. Hence the subtitle of this bloggie, Much Ado About Not So Much.

Confession time. The following may seem selfish. I’d like to think it’s merely self-centered and honest. Everybody needs to look after and reflect upon their own interests, after all. —I’m getting divorced, and I’m becoming more and more straight the further I progress in my transition, the longer I live and evolve with HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). In sum, when my divorce is complete and finalized once and for all time, I’d like to find myself a boyfriend.

So after my SRS or, more accurately, GRS (Sex or Gender Reassignment Surgery), gay marriage will be a non-issue to me personally. I recognize the partial downfall of DOMA as the small step towards equality for all that it truly is but, for me personally at least, that partial downfall per se is rapidly becoming a non-issue. —And all day on FaceBook and Twitter I’ve been stressing far more than I should be at the premature celebration of what is, basically, a non-issue to me, myself, and I.

Why don’t people understand that this is the merest shadow of a beginning, the beginning of a struggle that will take decades or a century to complete! I’ve been thinking. My stress over this was needless and silly, but one can’t stop one’s emotions from manifesting, one can only handle them as they arise. And I don’t handle mundane stress well. The Legions of Hell, no problem. But any considerable, quotidian, work-a-day, mundane stress — I cave. I admit it. In this regard, I’m a wimp.

Thanks for reading my venting. Putting it in writing helps. If I’ve offended anyone, I’m truly sorry. Feel free to flame me in a comment.

Rachel Izabella


3 thoughts on “Rant I: DOMA: Much Ado About Not So Much

  1. Sarenth says:

    As a pansexual man in a heteronormative relationship I know that the effect on my partner and I’s relationship as it stands is nill. I want to celebrate, but like a friend on my Facebook mentioned this is the medal ceremony after the first Death Star got blown up…and a part of me even thinks that is one analogy too far. DOMA isn’t dead yet, and until my State repeals its anti-marriage legislation I do not want to break out the champagne and cigars just yet.

    • Rachel Izabella says:

      Thank you for your comment. I particularly like the Death Star metaphor, I may use that when attempting to explain these same points to friends. And DOMA not being dead … I didn’t mention that, but it’s scary as hell.

      —Thanks for your visit, and please feel free to comment often! —Much love, Rachel Izabella

      • Sarenth says:

        You’re most welcome. It’s useful, as metaphors go. My reply to them was that it was all well and good the first Death Star was destroyed, but Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine were still out there.

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