Was it an act of hubris to publish that last entry? To advertise what I did yesterday? I honestly don’t know.

I believe one needs to feel good about oneself. One needs to set the world to rights, starting with themselves and their own little corner of the world. One can and should rule over one’s own kingdom. Or begin to do so, as I just very recently realized was possible. Most importantly, I think others need to know that they can rule over their own kingdoms, to let others know that they even have kingdoms they can begin to rule — others who may feel powerless, confused, hopeless. It can be done, and this should be known by all.

Still I wonder, Was it hubris?

Kicked Ass, Took Names

Yesterday morning I was facing some insurmountable obstacles. Two spirits were infesting my house and property and spreading miasma everywhere — miasma being something like astral pollution or nastiness. I had crossed conditions. My Uncrossing Oil had gone rancid while the rest of my conjure oils were just fine. Prayers to my Goddess to just fix everything for me were, of course, of no avail. The Gods are good but they expect you to work, they challenge you to be better than you ever thought you could be.

I did have Road Opener Oil, and I needed some options, some pathways out of this mess. I rubbed some on the palms of my hands. Immediately I felt like a million bucks. It was, by the way, a free sampler that Quadrivium Supplies sent me. I highly recommend their oils based on my experiences of yesterday.

I’m pretty darned sure I got rid of one of the spirits, an angry ghost, permanently. The other, a hungry ghost — basically a discarnate psychic vampire, AKA a fucking vampire! —, I need to do a divination about. I got rid of it at least for the time being though.

I did the Adjuration of Metatron plus the Preliminary Protective Rite from the Book of Abrasax. Then I redid it but the second time I used it to remake my worn out, torn papyrus talisman that I made per instructions in that same wonderful, wonderful book. Then I took my new machete (pics coming) and stabbed and slashed the location where I felt the vampiric spirit to be. —I get my information about vampiric spirits from John Michael Greer’s book Monsters, and my info on this particular one from someone I know who is strongly clairvoyant and a true wizard when it comes to the Astral Plane. Monsters is a lot better book that it sounds like and John Michael Greer is a true Adept. —That got rid of it for the time being. Like I said I need to do a divination to see if it’s gone forever, and get my gifted friend to check out the situation too. And repeat the protection rite every day, or even move up a step and really do the Stele of Jeu for thirty days. And keep spiritually pure and free of miasma. Keeping spiritually pure is absolutely vital, it’s the crux, it’s a daily necessity for me I now know — I’m going to write a bloggie about the necessity for spiritual purity, so look out for that.

It was getting late by this time, and I was getting tired. I still needed to get rid of the angry ghost — spreading miasma everywhere like a monkey in the zoo flinging poo, causing my crossed conditions. I got out my ebony mala dedicated to Hekate and sat in front of Her altar. I said one hundred and eight mantras to Her, and established some contact. I strengthened the contact by meditating on Her icon on my altar. Slowly I felt the power points on my body become active which allow possession to occur, and prayed for Her to possess me… Hekate then took over. She took the angry ghost unto Herself, where I know he will be much happier, whether he remains with Her or whether She guides him in the In Between to the best possible destination. —Horsing my Goddess is positively wracking on me, by the way. But I’m not complaining!

A huge thunderstorm had arisen while I was possessed. But everything everywhere, it all felt so clean, so light, so very, very much better than before. I had never felt the constant and immense sense of oppression until it was gone.

I really hope the hungry ghost or vampiric spirit is gone for good. I really need to take a cleansing bath now, it’s 11am and I haven’t yet. If I had been practicing a regime of spiritually cleansing baths probably none of this mess would have happened in the first place.

I guess what I want to say is that if I can do stuff I never imagined I could do, so can you. I started out yesterday clueless, dismayed, and feeling helpless. But I kicked ass. I was awesome even if I do say so myself. —And you are stronger than you believe you are. You can do more than you believe you can. To use a cliché Just do it. Anything. Something. The craziest thing might just be the solution. And every little thing, any little thing that helps, too, well, it helps, no matter how mad it may seem. Do enough little things that help, and hey! problem solved.

And a little dab of Road Opener Oil always helps.

Much love. —Rachel Izabella

So I have crossed conditions. I can deal. But today I go for the Uncrossing Oil and it’s gone bad. Nothing else, just the Uncrossing Oil. That is so not a coincidence. I can still deal though. —My natron bath last night plus the Adjuration of Metatron & Preliminary Protective Rite from the Book of Abrasax ended my daylong panic attack and the feeling of ants crawling all over my body. I see a repeat tonight. In fact, I see frequent spiritual baths for the rest of my life.

So I have crossed conditions. I can deal.

Rant II: Grammar Nazi: A Threat: More Stress

Colonel Klink

This morning on FaceBook a grammar Nazi criticized a friend’s post — It was a “comma splice”, he said. I pointed out that joining sentences which are very closely linked rhetorically with a mere comma instead of a semi-colon or a colon is a rapidly growing usage, and one endorsed by Strunk & White, at least for short sentences.

Then he got all in my face so to speak. Arrogant and patronizing. He made his mistake, though, when he presumed to call me “dear”.

Don’t get me wrong. I love it when friends call me dear or hun or sweetie, etc. I don’t love it so much when a know-nothing asshole calls me such. Grammar Nazis are know-nothings. —Ignoramuses who have no knowledge of linguistics or even of grammar itself, beyond a set of supposed “rules” that have little to do with real human speech. And this … vertebrate was a jerk, too.

So I told him this: Call me “dear” again and you’ll find your head up your ass, laughing insanely. With his FaceBook photograph which he kindly has made public I could probably even do it, or something to the same general effect. But I haven’t cursed anyone in maybe two years now and there’s a reason for that: stress. I don’t believe in Karma as that word is commonly bandied about in the West. In Hinduism, in Buddhism, the word has a real and sensible meaning, but it does not as used in, mostly, the US. Like the Easter Bunny, it’s far less than a fairy tale, it’s purely a human figment.

Curses, nevertheless, do take their toll on a person. It depends on the individual. Some people it doesn’t affect much. I have reason to believe that I’ve a knack at cursing, truth to tell, but equally true is the huge toll it takes on me mentally and emotionally. —And, apparently, even a silly threat of a curse in a FaceBook comment is more stressful than I can take right now.


I’m beginning to think I have a case of crossed conditions. If fact I’m pretty darned sure about it. So — when I finish this I’m taking a cold bath and asperging myself with natron (3 parts baking soda, 1 part salt — close enough). And then I’ll somehow force myself to perform the Stele of Jeu before tonight ends.

That should be a good start on eliminating both the crossed conditions and the intolerable stress I’ve felt all day.

Much love, Rachel

PS — since some or many of you may not know what “crossed conditions” are, I suppose I should explain. But in another post. Another day. G’night. —R.I.P.

Rant I: DOMA: Much Ado About Not So Much

Double Facepalm

I’ve been seriously stressed out all day. One stressor has been the hullabaloo over DOMA. Everyone seems to believe that gay marriage is now legal in all fifty states. It’s not. Proposition Two of DOMA was not struck down by the Supreme Court, leaving individual states free to legislate against gay and lesbian marriage. North Carolina, for example, has a constitutional amendment that outlaws homosexual marriage, and that amendment remains the law of the land. In NC and all the other states which have legislated against gay marriage someone must now challenge the law in a higher court, and perhaps take their case all the way to the Supreme Court. Hence the subtitle of this bloggie, Much Ado About Not So Much.

Confession time. The following may seem selfish. I’d like to think it’s merely self-centered and honest. Everybody needs to look after and reflect upon their own interests, after all. —I’m getting divorced, and I’m becoming more and more straight the further I progress in my transition, the longer I live and evolve with HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). In sum, when my divorce is complete and finalized once and for all time, I’d like to find myself a boyfriend.

So after my SRS or, more accurately, GRS (Sex or Gender Reassignment Surgery), gay marriage will be a non-issue to me personally. I recognize the partial downfall of DOMA as the small step towards equality for all that it truly is but, for me personally at least, that partial downfall per se is rapidly becoming a non-issue. —And all day on FaceBook and Twitter I’ve been stressing far more than I should be at the premature celebration of what is, basically, a non-issue to me, myself, and I.

Why don’t people understand that this is the merest shadow of a beginning, the beginning of a struggle that will take decades or a century to complete! I’ve been thinking. My stress over this was needless and silly, but one can’t stop one’s emotions from manifesting, one can only handle them as they arise. And I don’t handle mundane stress well. The Legions of Hell, no problem. But any considerable, quotidian, work-a-day, mundane stress — I cave. I admit it. In this regard, I’m a wimp.

Thanks for reading my venting. Putting it in writing helps. If I’ve offended anyone, I’m truly sorry. Feel free to flame me in a comment.

Rachel Izabella



Thank the Gods that DOMA and Prop 8 have been ruled unconstitutional and struck down. This is a true victory.

But this victory is only a small beginning. Trans*folk, the genderqueer, the intersexed and others need so much more than marriage. We need equal protection under the law. We need the health care necessary for our well-being that insurance companies, businesses, states, and the Federal Government do not currently provide for. The right to marry is truly important and vital for gays and lesbians and bisexuals. For the TQI folks amongst the LGBTQI community — those mentioned above — not so much. Today’s rulings are however a signpost of hope.

I hope and pray that this victory is the beginning in America of equal rights for all the people of this country. Trans*folk et alia are people too.

Do not rejoice overmuch over today’s Supreme Court rulings. —We still do not enjoy equal rights or equal protections. In the minds of many we do not even enjoy status as people, as shown by references to us in the media using the pronoun it. Before we gain these rights and protections under the law, the attitudes of millions of people will need to change. We must somehow also become important and just plain human in the eyes of the majority of the American people.

One problem is that we are such a small minority that it is easy for most to overlook us, easy for many to act with prejudice against us, easy for some to abuse us. Many LGBT or LGBTQI centers across America are for all practical purposes LGB centers and TQI centers combined under one roof, and yet separate. TERFs (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists) still crash trans events for purposes of puerile heckling and harassment and name calling. Fifty percent of transwomen of color are still being raped. States are still attempting to pass laws making it illegal for us to use the public restroom appropriate to our gender. And transsexual women continue to be, perhaps — I doubt there are statistics to back me up, but I don’t think I’m wrong — the most murdered minority in America.

As Kurt Vonnegut wrote in Slaughterhouse-Five So it goes.

This So it goes must stop. We must start coming out of our deep stealth and our closets. We must interact with the American people at large, and as equals, and demonstrate to one American at a time that we are, despite our otherness, people too, plain and simple. We need to come out. Coming out, as demonstrated by today’s victory for gays and lesbians, is an empowering act. It is also a self-affirming act, a powerful act that bolsters self-acceptance and begins the healing of the deep wounds many of us bear.

Are we ready to do this? Are we ready to take such action in the ordinary, work-a-day world? Those of us who are pagans and polytheists, shall we not today begin praying to our Gods for equal rights and equal protections to come to pass for us? Those of us who are magically inclined, are we not today prepared to enchant and I mean to enchant powerfully to bring such a day closer?

I hope so. I pray so. And I myself will be walking the walk I talk here.

Much love. —Rachel Izabella

Zinnia Jones: The Experience of Body Metamorphosis

Zinnia Jones is asked how it feels to undergo the body metamorphosis caused by HRT and she somehow actually puts it into words. And her words are poetry. She describes it far better than I could.

Her whole Tumblr blog is fascinating but beware. Some of her entries are NSFW (Not Safe For Work). Her animated gifs are hilarious and sexy. (Look for the link to them on the left of the page.)

Zinnia Jones.

Tarot: Finally

The Moon - Shadowscapes Tarot

The Moon, from the Shadowscapes Tarot
by Stephani Pui-Mun Law

Off and on, for years now, I’ve been trying to learn to read the Tarot. Convinced I should do it the way you’re “supposed to”, I fought and struggled to learn with either the Rider-Waite Deck or Aleister Crowley and Lady Frieda Harris’s Thoth Deck. But even though I long ago memorized most of the individual card meanings, I could make no sense of the arrangements of colorful pieces of cardboard I laid out in front of me.

Then I discovered the Shadowscapes Tarot. Although the images are uniquely different, to say the least, at heart it’s a traditional Tarot deck. I picked it up in the bookstore, held it in my hand for a moment, and impulse-bought it. I’m so glad I did. These pieces of cardboard tell me things. For the first time I’m doing my own amateurish readings for myself. I love geomancy but I know even in these early days the Tarot is absolutely amazing, enthralling.

Speaking of the images on the cards — they are fantastical and absolutely beautiful. There’s so much detail on each card I wish the deck were bigger, huge even, the way my Thoth deck is. You can take a look at some of the cards and some of Ms. Law’s other artwork here.

When I’m ready, I’ll take up either the Rider-Waite deck or the Thoth deck and learn to divine with one of those. In the meantime the Shadowscapes Tarot is proving immensely satisfying.

A Garland for Zeus: Modern Prayer Bead Devotions by Drew Campbell

The page linked to below describes one prominent Hellenic Recon’s prayer beads for Zeus. It includes the prayers he uses, all riffed from sources from Antiquity. I like it so much I want to make one myself. This would be especially appropriate as I’m a member of the Gentlemen for Jupiter, a mystery cult in which members connect to the Jovian current (I can barely force myself to write “Jupiterian”) in various ways, and for me Zeus presides over that current. (The “Gentlemen” include all sexes and genders, by the way.)

There’s not enough poly- in my polytheism. I’ve become almost a Hekatean henotheist, and I don’t feel right about that. —I also want to make a prayer rope so I can meditate using Sannion’s wonderful Lusios Prayer.

A Garland for Zeus: Modern Prayer Bead Devotions by Drew Campbell.

Advanced Planetary Magic: First Experiments [EDITED]


Agrippa’s, not Jason Miller’s, Seal of Venus

[EDIT: I had not read all the Calls when I wrote this post. Instead I read a few at random, all of the Jupiter Calls, then skipped straight to Friday (Venus’s and Aphrodite’s day) and just started. Below I erroneously call all the Calls transcendent magic. —There emphatically is results magic in this chapbook. Tomorrow, Saturday, for example includes some truly blood-curdling curses. But curses isn’t all there is … not by a long shot.]

I bought Jason Miller’s first chapbook, Advanced Planetary Magic, yesterday. I read over it, and today I started immediately putting it into practice. So far today I’ve performed five of the Planetary Calls in the book. Maybe overkill, maybe not. But —

I feel more alive right now than I have in weeks.

If you are a practitioner of the sort who just barely conceivably might be interested in working with and tapping into the power of the Planets — buy this ebook! These forces, if worked with diligently, will change your life for the better in ways you’d not think possible — in ways I never imagined and have only recently begun to experience in any depth.

It comes with mp3’s of Jason reading the 49 Planetary Calls contained in the chapbook. It comes with new seals of the seven classical planets that, to my mind, supersede Agrippa’s as they are usable regardless of any current adverse astrological conditions (and they’re very beautiful). And best of all, accompanying the Planetary Calls, the book contains a ritual called the Heptasphere designed to shield you from those same adverse astrological conditions. —I first learned the Heptasphere, which is a riff on PGM (The Greek Magical Papyri) XIII 824, in Mr. Miller’s Strategic Sorcery course, but this is a tweaked and improved version of it. —In other words you can use the 49 Planetary Calls during the correct planetary day and hour regardless of astrological conditions.

Some astrologers among you may go bah humbug at the idea of balancing and making benign the forces of the Heavens with a mere ritual. All I can say to you is try it and see for yourself. It really does work and, as it’s derived from the Greek Magical Papyri, it’s a venerable practice indeed.

There’s much more in the book that I’m not going to cover, but there is one more thing I want to add. Although the chapbook/ebook is called “Advanced”, there’s enough beginner level information in it for any person with some magical experience and with access to Google — in case you’re left with unanswered questions — to just buy the book and run with it. In my opinion. I’ve made mistakes before on this blog … but I don’t think I’m mistaken here.

For a true magus’s review of the chapbook read the one that Frater Rufus Opus wrote here. The man knows what he’s talking about better than I do. He enthuses over Advanced Planetary Magic.

In sum, I recommend it in the highest degree as an innovative, exquisite, and very powerful work.

Though this is what one might call transcendent magic and not external results magic I’ll keep you posted here, to the extent I possibly can, on results as they manifest in my life.

Happy enchanting and have a blessed Summer.