Magic Isn’t Fun Anymore

Magic isn’t fun anymore. I’m on the wrong path. I’m not having fun any more.

Magic isn’t fun any more.

I wrote a poem about it. I won’t expatiate or gall you with self-pity any more than that.

I’ve lost the Word — lost Mystery —
Imagination barren — abiding in Atrophy —
How recover the Angel in the Word? —
When Sun’s a beetle — Earth — a Turd? —
A path I — thought — would gift me the Moon —
Word & World — both sere — clashing Weeds —
Dead stalks in this blazing — Noon —
Dream has reft His very Self from — me — Woods
Call to me — no more — I
I am Poor — I am Poor —
Great Pan is Dead — They say, A Lie —
The Great God Pan — to me I know
Did surely Die —
The Path — but the Path — the very Path I — walk —
Did I — did the Path — did the Daystone stalk
The Great God Pan — and kill? —
Or was it my Will — my Will — my Will? —
The Will of the Will of the Will of the Will —
I know this — the Word is a Corpse — to me —
World without Word — this cannot —
Will not — shall not — Be —
New Paths anew — Seek them without Seek —
Thus — by Chance — again I — and by Grace — may See —

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7 thoughts on “Magic Isn’t Fun Anymore

  1. I’ve been there so very many times. I just do something different for a while, and get pulled back in by sheer force of obsession. Of course, it is possible that you DO need to do something else. Best I can say is, take a day or two completely off and then do some divination.

    Or you could just declare that your entire practice will consist of shamatha meditation until you get some guidance that says otherwise, and follow up on that with daily meditation.

    I have repeatedly found that meditation keeps me off medication.

  2. @Freeman — That’s what I’m going to do, basically except that I’ll probably do Zazen and/or vipassana because it’s what I know. I’ll check out shamatha meditation. The meds are for panic attacks, and I’d rather have the meds — I can’t go at a panic attack with meditation, only serious internal energy work. @Melitta — Thanks! Big fan of your blog you’ve got here!

    • Ah, if you have been taught Zazen, then all the better. It is a balance between shamatha (stillness) and vipassana (insight).

      I know what you mean about the panic attack. I have had *one* in my life (and that’s not a request for more). I couldn’t do anything with my hip-gnosis keywords or any meditation technique I know of, at the peak of it. I finally did bring myself down with the hypnotic relaxation method, but that was after the adrenaline level had dropped some.

      I am absolutely sure that if there had been someone handy who needed his head ripped off, I could have handled it that way 🙂

  3. Robert Mitchell says:

    When I feel they way you describe I go outside, maybe spend a day or two in the woods alone. Wild places and natural surroundings refresh me like nothing else. Sometimes just a few hours on the deck in front of my fireplace turns me around. If I can’t get away, I use prayer beads to center myself and obtain the direction and support of a spirit or deity. I’ll anoint and light a seven day candle, petition for help, and spend a half hour per day in contemplative prayer until the candle is done. That always does the trick. I’ll be watching for updates on how it goes.

    • Robert, that is a great suggestion. I do plan on increasing my devotional time. Alas I don’t have the option of camping in the woods alone right now, but I can elbow myself some time for more solitude and a one or two hour walk in the woods. Thanks!

  4. It is really a great and useful piece of information.
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